Buying a house is generally considered one of the top three most stressful events in a person’s life (behind death of a family member and loss of job), so it can easily put a strain on even the most solid partnerships. It is very common for one partner to feel that they have to move forward on a house that they don’t love in order to make their partner happy, which often results in a cancelled escrow and frustration all around. Here are some tips to avoid this scenario:
See houses together. Even if one partner has a lot more free time than the other, it is extremely important that you see houses at the same time rather than one person “weeding out” unwanted houses on behalf of the other. Seeing homes that ultimately don’t work is not a waste of time! It is actually an important part of the process because it enables you to better recognize the houses that could actually work for you. I recommend seeing the full range of properties in your price range to get a better understanding of the value in the neighborhood and to learn more about what you are both willing to compromise on.
Agree on location. If the perfect house in your ideal location is out of your budget, you need to make the decision together to either compromise on the house, or to consider other neighborhoods. Take the time to drive together through any areas you are considering and get a feel for where you will be shopping, where your kids would be going to school, ect. If you have any concerns about safety, do research online ahead of time and drive through at different times of day. This should all be done before you consider making an offer on a house. Come to an agreement about how long you’d like to stay in your home and whether you would be comfortable living in a second-choice area with the knowledge that you are working towards trading up in the future to a forever house in your favored location.
Research Renovations ahead of time. I’ve been in many situations where one partner decides they want to buy a “fixer” and tries to convince the other partner that they can live in the home while doing a major renovation. If you are seriously considering this scenario, you should have a detailed discussion about what type of remodeling your budget and sanity allows for. Don’t make assumptions about the price or timeframe for completing work– make sure you fully research your options ahead of time. And keep in mind that unless you are using a construction loan, which requires very specific documentation and timelines for completing work, you cannot simply tack on an additional $40,000 to your home loan to pay for remodeling. You’ll need to have a plan for accessing funds to pay for the work after you close on your home.
By communicating openly, exploring homes together, and agreeing on priorities ahead of time, couples can turn the stress of house hunting into a shared journey toward finding the right home.
Kari Carson
DRE #01903828
(818) 424-5537
Neighborhoods Served: La Canada Flintridge, La Crescenta, Montrose, Glendale, Pasadena, Eagle Rock, Highland Park, Greater LA area